I'm drive I can fine osifer
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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