I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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