Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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