Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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