I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
