ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this boner is exhausting
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
