worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
