i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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