Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am one with the molecules
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
