the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
