Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize