Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
