No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
