you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
