But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
