I hate all girls vehemently.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
