Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
