I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, beer. Big fan.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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