Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
