how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
