i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
