No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
