gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just pee around me
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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