so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
