oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
