Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
