don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
