Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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