you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
