i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
