He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
