drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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