Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You are the jesus of drinking
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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