I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
