I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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