Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
