Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize