im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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