you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize