Me. At least after what I've been through.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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