did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We need a shit load of segways right now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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