WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
