have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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