i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize