i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize