I like to think it a success when the cops are called
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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