It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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