The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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