I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
