The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
