Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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