Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
