God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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