Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
