Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
