tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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