Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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