Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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